Al Quaida Infiltrates NFL
In a stunning video tape released today by the Arab news source Aljazeera, a sneering Osama Bin Laden is heard making the claim that Al Quaida is responsibile for the officiating at Sunday's Superbowl. Filmed before a backdrop of what Middle-East experts have identified as an oversized Steeler "Terrible Towel", Bin Laden appeared to be suffering from a serious post-game celebratory hangover.
Making reference to recent newspaper cartoons which have lampooned the Prophet Mohammed and subsequently released a firestorm of hositility towards the West, Bin Laden is heard proclaiming, "An eye for an eye, Infidels... you make a mockery of our god, the great Allah, and we have made a mockery of your 's... the Great Lombardi."
A highly placed Bush Administration source has confirmed that FBI eavesdropping experts in Detroit did indeed pick up SuperBowl game-time transmissions between undisclosed sources in the Mid-East and the NFL officiating crew inside Ford Field. "There was a lot of chatter in which the phrase 'Hose the Seahawks' kept coming across," the source revealed.
As the Bin Laden videotape rolls to an end the madman can be heard screaming, "And now, the Great Satan has been revealed before the whole world!!, " as he waves a Superbowl halftime snapshot of Keith Richards before the camera.
When asked whether this revelation might cause the NFL to void the outcome of Superbowl XL, Paul Tagliabue told reporters, "Hey look, I'm just the Commissioner, not some Dictator. This is America, remember... and that means everyone... including referees, Mick Jagger, ad execs and Steelers fans... has a full right to make a complete ass of themselves."
Making reference to recent newspaper cartoons which have lampooned the Prophet Mohammed and subsequently released a firestorm of hositility towards the West, Bin Laden is heard proclaiming, "An eye for an eye, Infidels... you make a mockery of our god, the great Allah, and we have made a mockery of your 's... the Great Lombardi."
A highly placed Bush Administration source has confirmed that FBI eavesdropping experts in Detroit did indeed pick up SuperBowl game-time transmissions between undisclosed sources in the Mid-East and the NFL officiating crew inside Ford Field. "There was a lot of chatter in which the phrase 'Hose the Seahawks' kept coming across," the source revealed.
As the Bin Laden videotape rolls to an end the madman can be heard screaming, "And now, the Great Satan has been revealed before the whole world!!, " as he waves a Superbowl halftime snapshot of Keith Richards before the camera.
When asked whether this revelation might cause the NFL to void the outcome of Superbowl XL, Paul Tagliabue told reporters, "Hey look, I'm just the Commissioner, not some Dictator. This is America, remember... and that means everyone... including referees, Mick Jagger, ad execs and Steelers fans... has a full right to make a complete ass of themselves."
posted by Michael C. at 6:31 AM
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