Muslims Can't Dance
Seattle Pastor Asserts: "Bad Musicology Tied To Bad Theology"
"All this recent acting out of rage we're seeing from Muslims lately goes much, much deeper than just the cartoon issue," asserts the Rev. Blackie White, who goes on to say, "Frankly, it all boils down to one simple fact... Muslims can't dance."
Rev. White, Senior Pastor at The Church of the Pushed-Back Pew, located near Seattle, expounded his theory recently in an exclusive interview with Michael C. for the S.A.L.T. Report:
R.B.W...."When you analyze the video tapes of Islamic protestors bombing embassies, lighting cars on fire and shooting off guns.... you see the same awkward dance moves over and over, in locales across the world. This primitive jumping up and down and pumping of fists overhead is sad evidence of a total lack of not only rhythm, but grace."
"As we all know...(Good) music salves the savage beast. Unfortunately, my studies reveal that the reverse also holds true... bad music has the innate power to quickly produce a pissed-off attitude. And tell me... what funky Islamic dance tunes has the civilized world wanted to groove to over the the past few centuries?" So, it's pretty clear... bad musicology and bad theology go hand in hand."
This goes way, way back to Biblical Times. Take a look at David. Here's a brother, who scriptures record, played a mean harp AND could throw down dance moves nasty enough for God, Himself to shout, "MY MAN!!".
"I'm tellin' you the Gospel truth... we wouldn't be watching these crazy Islamic Rave Dances on the news today if there had been a Little Shiite Wonder or a Muhammed Al-Green somewhere along the line!"
"Can I get an Amen?."
"All this recent acting out of rage we're seeing from Muslims lately goes much, much deeper than just the cartoon issue," asserts the Rev. Blackie White, who goes on to say, "Frankly, it all boils down to one simple fact... Muslims can't dance."
Rev. White, Senior Pastor at The Church of the Pushed-Back Pew, located near Seattle, expounded his theory recently in an exclusive interview with Michael C. for the S.A.L.T. Report:
R.B.W...."When you analyze the video tapes of Islamic protestors bombing embassies, lighting cars on fire and shooting off guns.... you see the same awkward dance moves over and over, in locales across the world. This primitive jumping up and down and pumping of fists overhead is sad evidence of a total lack of not only rhythm, but grace."
"As we all know...(Good) music salves the savage beast. Unfortunately, my studies reveal that the reverse also holds true... bad music has the innate power to quickly produce a pissed-off attitude. And tell me... what funky Islamic dance tunes has the civilized world wanted to groove to over the the past few centuries?" So, it's pretty clear... bad musicology and bad theology go hand in hand."
This goes way, way back to Biblical Times. Take a look at David. Here's a brother, who scriptures record, played a mean harp AND could throw down dance moves nasty enough for God, Himself to shout, "MY MAN!!".
"I'm tellin' you the Gospel truth... we wouldn't be watching these crazy Islamic Rave Dances on the news today if there had been a Little Shiite Wonder or a Muhammed Al-Green somewhere along the line!"
"Can I get an Amen?."
posted by Michael C. at 6:45 PM
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