Fundamentalist Lesbian Threat Grows

Rosie Bigger Than Ever

According to Rosie O'Donnell's recent declarations on TV's show "The (Skewed) View", it seems the world would be a much better place if there were fewer Evangelical Christians and more "200 pound lesbians threatening to kick people's asses." running around (A quote from O'Donnell)

Really!? Let's dissect Rosie's formula for a more ideal world here...

1. More fat women. That's a good thing?

Now, Rosie claims to weigh in at 200 pounds. Of course, it's a fact of life that all females, straight or gay have a tendency to wildly underestimate the point at which they tip the scales. I say Rosie goes 230 (lbs) easy... and there's about as much validity to her claim of being at 200 as there is of Barbara Walter's public claim that her dog can talk. Sooo.... I say, let's have an upcoming segment of "The View" in which Babs brings her chihuaha into the studio and Rosie brings her Cleveland Industrial Scale. Now, THAT''S entertainment!

2. More lesbians. Again, a good thing?

This might possibly be good news for the Porn Industry, which seems to thrive on this imaginary sort of "entanglement". However, it's also a fact that, in reality, 92% of true lesbians appearing naked are more suited for the Horror genre of film-making.

3. More kicking ass. NOW, we may finally be onto something. It's pretty safe to say that the Evangelical in Chief, President Bush, would just love to utter these 2 words out loud when speaking of winning America's "War on Terror". But, I'm not so sure about their efficacy when coming from an outright loser in America's "War on Obesity"...unless, of course Rosie has some yet-to-be-revealed plan up her sausage-armed sleeve for kicking her OWN ass... which, from MY View, is too big for her britches.

Guess we'll have to stay tuned...unfortunately.