Seattle Solves Unwanted Immigrant Problem

Mayor's Initiative Calls for 'Dumbells' to Move to Lynnwood

As the national debate regarding illegal immigration rages on, Seattle, now recognized as "the smartest city in the U.S" is pursuing a unique course of action. Today, Mayor Greg Nickels, now recognized as "the coolest Mayor in the U.S." by Time Magazine, announced plans to aggressively go after those people living inside the Seattle city limits, "whose intellects are just a tad bit backwards to our way of thinking".

A spokesperson from the Mayor's Office today outlined key elements of Nickel's "Smart Growth Strategy", which public officials are hailing as the one viable solution to the increasing problem of transitory workers with little, or no higher education, crossing into the City from places like from Fife, putting down roots and raising families .

"We just think that folks like these would be much better off being moved to someplace that we can all agree is simply 'dumber' than Seattle." the spokesperson said.

Internal polling data among Seattle-Lites shows a 68% approval rating for Mayor Nickels' proposed initiative, which is being dubbed "The Lynnwood Solution"