Rev. Blackie's Theo-Political Forecast 1.0
A Transcript from The SALT Report's Theological Correspondent:
"The Reverend Blackie White's highly tuned 'Doppler of the Soul' ™ has been pickin up on a lot of CONFUSION and ILLUSION going on out there during the dreaded Cold, Flu and Politickin’ Season. I’m warnin ya’ll…there’s a kind of “Perfect Storm” movin in which is impossible to flee and will no doubt leave millions of hapless victims sick and depressed.
"'Bout the only thing you can do to avoid getting hit with “The Crud”, brothers and sisters, is this… wash your hands 3 times a day… don’t touch any radio tuned to Rush Limbaugh… and don’t even THINK of looking at a TV ad featuring Sen. Maria Cantwell.
(Sidebar: Can anyone out there explain to me how it is that a woman who spent $10 million of her own money to buy a seat in the US Senate cannot afford to get herself into a seat at a Gene Juarez Hair Salon?)
"And, speakin of the recent “plague” of TV political spots… Biblical scholars have recently concluded:
"Had Pharoah been subjected to such a dark cloud of iniquity, the likes of which has been conjured up by the 2006 Republican and Democrat election committees, not only would he have let Israel go after just the Plaque of Frogs, but in addition, he would have done all in his power to wipe out the foreign bloodline that centuries later produced James Carville.
"Finally… A Rev. Blackie White’s “theo-political” prediction?
"Well, that gal who wants to be the US Congresswoman from Washington, Darcy BURNER, comes to mind… ya can’t deny it…that’s one HELLUVA an apropos name for the election result a campaigner of her stature is sure to garner!!
"That's all for now...you been listinin' to Rev. Blackie White... so now YOU TOO are walkin' in the Light".
"The Reverend Blackie White's highly tuned 'Doppler of the Soul' ™ has been pickin up on a lot of CONFUSION and ILLUSION going on out there during the dreaded Cold, Flu and Politickin’ Season. I’m warnin ya’ll…there’s a kind of “Perfect Storm” movin in which is impossible to flee and will no doubt leave millions of hapless victims sick and depressed.
"'Bout the only thing you can do to avoid getting hit with “The Crud”, brothers and sisters, is this… wash your hands 3 times a day… don’t touch any radio tuned to Rush Limbaugh… and don’t even THINK of looking at a TV ad featuring Sen. Maria Cantwell.
(Sidebar: Can anyone out there explain to me how it is that a woman who spent $10 million of her own money to buy a seat in the US Senate cannot afford to get herself into a seat at a Gene Juarez Hair Salon?)
"And, speakin of the recent “plague” of TV political spots… Biblical scholars have recently concluded:
"Had Pharoah been subjected to such a dark cloud of iniquity, the likes of which has been conjured up by the 2006 Republican and Democrat election committees, not only would he have let Israel go after just the Plaque of Frogs, but in addition, he would have done all in his power to wipe out the foreign bloodline that centuries later produced James Carville.
"Finally… A Rev. Blackie White’s “theo-political” prediction?
"Well, that gal who wants to be the US Congresswoman from Washington, Darcy BURNER, comes to mind… ya can’t deny it…that’s one HELLUVA an apropos name for the election result a campaigner of her stature is sure to garner!!
"That's all for now...you been listinin' to Rev. Blackie White... so now YOU TOO are walkin' in the Light".
posted by Michael C. at 12:41 PM
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